World suicide prevention day

Why does Blogger eat my posts? Oh well here is what I posted on Facebook earlier today, I think that about sums it up:

So today is world suicide prevention day. For some reason I find myself hesitant to write this status, more so than any if my other mental health awareness ones. I think probably suicide is the ultimate taboo when it comes to mental health, nobody talks about it. Which is odd considering WHO suggests one person dies from it every 40 seconds.
But no, we don't talk about it. It's not pleasant to talk about. But it is important. Often people seem to think bringing up the subject will 'give them ideas'. Erm? I can think of any number of reasons people may kill themselves.... talking about it isn't one of them. In fact NOT talking is more likely to be a cause. People who are feeling alone and vulnerable keep quiet, end up feeling even more alone and vulnerable, things escalate and a solvable problem becomes overwhelming.

So often people who commit, attempt or talk about suicide are accused of being selfish. No. In a lot of ways, yes suicide is a selfish ACT. That doesn't make someone a selfish PERSON. Maybe someone thinks about the pain they'll cause those left behind our maybe they don't. Often they CAN'T. The situation or mental illness or whatever is so consuming, so all encompassing that nothing else matters, it's not possible to think of anything else. You know when you're in so much pain you can't think? Can't register the world around you? That.

And finally you try to talk about it and you're accused of attention seeking, if you really wanted to die you could do it right? So obviously you're not serious. It is possible to have suicidal thoughts and want to live at the same time. To have horrible intrusive thoughts but still want, and try, to fight them. Imagine an annoying song stuck in your head, except instead of 'build me up buttercup' it's 'I can't do this, I want this to stop, I want out' over and over.

This is getting really long so I'm going to shut up. My only point is, it's ok to talk about this stuff. Not pleasant, but ok. Www.samaritans.org 08457 90 90 90.

Oh and I painted my nails obviously, cos that's what I do. X

This is something that means an awful lot to me, for several reasons and I find it hard to come up with exactly the right words but there you go. The nails are Barry m Chai on all nails except the ring which is model's own bikini and the details were added with the same two polishes. The studs I believe cane in the last tarastalons treasure trove. Yellow comes from the colour of the suicide awareness ribbon, the sun isn't there for any particular reason other than as a symbol of hope and a glimmer of brightness in the grey. I tried really hard with these and I would love if they were neater but tbh I'm pretty happy, the lettering came out better than I expected even if it's still kinda scruffy lol.
But this is long so here's some pictures.... and stay safe. X